Pictures, Swimsuits, & Body Love

 Ivan and I will celebrate our three year wedding anniversary in August!

We haven't had professional pictures taken since our engagement pictures... O_o

I am to blame for that; though Ivan would never suggest getting pictures done, (Why do we need to? It's only been three years! Nothing has changed! *bless those handsome oblivious eyes) I have intentionally postponed them for years now on account of being "too fat".  With each passing year, I discover & set a new standard of "too fat". I have a MUCH ROUNDER face and body thanks to the 35+ extra lbs I've picked up & struggled to shed along the 3 year journey but I finally summoned enough body love to say enough is enough and have pictures taken.

A lot of women my age (27) get to justify weight gain due to changes from pregnancy and child bearing.  I have not had any children.  Some women have health conditions which have caused their weight gain.  Also, not the case for me (of which I am grateful). The weight I've gained is nothing but evidence of my poor stress management and nasty habit of emotional eating.  Correct me if I'm wrong, society is more understanding & forgiving of women who have gained weight in pregnancy or health related causes while all other reasons seem unpardonable and hardly worth a sympathetic ear.  Reasons like mine are usually deemed a fault of the individual: negligent, lazy, etc.   

There's a proud and loud movement of mommies advocating for other mommies to love their bodies: "I'm beautiful.  My stretch marks are proof that I brought life into this world and that means more than your opinion of me." "Your body is not ruined; you're a damn tiger who earned her stripes."  "Stretch marks are nature's badge of achievement.  They show that you suffered morning sickness, heartburn, back pain and child bearing to bring a new life into this world.  Wear your badge with pride."

All really nice and empowering as long as you are a mom... and have indeed EARNED your "stripes" or "badge/s of achievement" from child bearing...

I recently read Mom's, Put on That Swimsuit  Again, really nice but I was hoping that although I'm not a mom, as a woman I would find encouragement.  Instead, I think I found a phenomenon similar to the mama bear phenomenon. Mama bear defined by Urban Dictionary, "a mom who can be cuddly and lovable but also has a ferocious side when it's necessary to protect her cubs." I've witnessed several occasions where mothers who are seemingly reserved and laid back, with little to say, suddenly burst out of their shell and voice a loud or aggressive opinion when they felt their child was being treated unfairly or poorly.  Mama bears want their children to be safe and protected and will go to great lengths to ensure they are.

I am of the opinion that most moms will do ANYTHING for their children.  Yes, even put on a swimsuit if they believed it would make a difference in their child's life. Mama BEARave (brave): a mom who is insecure and vulnerable but also has a brave side and will take on any challenge if it will make a difference in their child's well being & happiness. Mama BEARaves want their children to be happy and will sacrifice their personal insecurities to answer their children's wants and needs.

I applaud the mommies contributions to the body love movement.  I have many loved ones who are mothers and I, myself, hope to one day be a mom. But I wish instead of using mommy specific language, it could be a more encompassing, inclusive body love movement because body insecurities are not limited to mommies and women. (and in case you didn't know stretchmarks are not limited to mommies) Children, teenagers, men, & women with varying and diverse backgrounds are in need of body love encouragement.

NO ONE should feel hindered because of body shame. Body shame has caused some of us to pass up another summer of swimsuit wearing.  Some avoid the camera like a plague.  How sad to let insecurities of our bodies hold us back from experiencing all the wonderful things life has to offer, accomplishing goals and dreams. 


So yes,  mommies get in your swimsuits! Women get in your swimsuits!  Men get in your swimsuits! Children and teenagers, get in your swimsuits! Summer is for ALL of us to enjoy! Life is to be enjoyed, discovered, & experienced.