No Pickle Juice For Me, Thanks!

The end of August 2014, I deactivated my Facebook account for 6 months.  I had several reasons for leaving, but one of the biggest reasons?  

JEALOUSY.  

It was a long time coming, but the following is the condensed version of how I had come to this sad sorry state:

I was married in August 2012 and finished my bachelor's degree in December 2012.  I felt myself suddenly entering a new season of life: 25 years old, a newly wed & college graduate.  All very exciting!  But, now what? 

Being married opened new possibilities. Babies is what filled my mind.  I became EVER MINDFUL of EVERYONE having babies.  Babies had overtaken my Facebook news feed.  In reality, I was just NOW REALLY SEEING them.

Along with having babies,  I watched my cohort buy houses, get promotions, move into an even more gorgeous house, entertain and maintain friendships, go on vacations galore, sport new cars, attend concerts and NFL & NBA games, host parties, etc., etc.
 

I was blind with envy!  So jealous, I lost sight of who I am, what I stand for and value, and what MY goals are.  I saw how many comments and "likes" others' received and believed that proved they lead the most ideal lives-LIVES TO BE SOUGHT AFTER. 

 It was like I was watching each person advertise and market their life as the best/most fulfilling way to live and be happy and I was falling for it.  I wanted a slice of THEIR happiness.   

It wasn’t until I took my 6 month break, that I realized I don’t REALLY desire to have that stuff!  Not because they aren't worthy goals or dreams but because they're NOT MY goals or dreams.  They don't align with MY values.  If I have extra money to spend, I wouldn’t choose to spend it on tickets to a concert or NBA game.  Honestly, I'd use it to pay off student loans or just go out to dinner. Boring!  I am an introvert and have always had a small circle of friends so hosting a barbecue with a large group isn’t my thing either and IT’S OK. 

Furthermore, I realized my introverted,  private life would not be desired, upheld, or celebrated on Facebook.    Yyyyep, I was seeking validation from Facebook friends.  Likes and comments showing I had chosen to live a great life.  I had to learn that others' approval and opinions of how I am living my life does NOT matter and I should NOT put my self esteem in such careless hands.  That I don't need likes and comments to know I am living a great life for me. 

I had to learn to LOOK UP, NOT SIDEWAYS.  

"A challenge for all of us is not to look sideways to see how others are viewing our lives but to look up to see how Heavenly Father sees us." -Carl B. Cook

So, how do you not get jealous when others have the stuff you DO desire?

I'd like to have children, I'd like to buy a house. But they're not in my immediate future.  Couple things have helped me:

1.   Faith. 

All the wonderful quotes by Jeffrey R. Holland are from his talk The Laborers in the Vineyard .  This talk reminds me that God is merciful, that there is a time and season for everything and to have faith that MY TIME will come.  There will be a time for having babies and buying a house. Be patient, have faith, keep moving forward!

2. Don't be a silent stalker.  

I decided that instead of silently stalking, letting jealousy eat me up I will make my presence known by "liking" their post or picture, or comment to share my honest opinion. "I think what you're doing is awesome! I look up to you! I admire your adventurous nature!"  

Once, I put my admiration into words for them to see, it no longer feels like jealousy.  I openly admit that I admire them or something they have done and move on with my life.  If I can't stop thinking about something they have shared.  I ask myself if it is something I desire for myself, if so, I work towards making it a part of my life and thank them for calling it to my attention.

What do you do to fend off jealousy?

I am a Housewife & I am Enough!

Today marks my ONE YEAR anniversary AS A HOUSEWIFE!

As I reflect on the past year, I'm reminded of the struggles I've had to maintain confidence in the importance and value of being a housewife.  At times, I felt engulfed in passion for my work as a housewife and then other times felt like a nobody as I struggled to answer the simple question, "WHAT DO YOU DO?" each time a stranger asked.

A simple question but I've yet to find my simple answer. (The thought to memorize Renee's quote HAS crossed my mind).  How do you sum up the work of a housewife?  Everyday is different.  I get to decide what I want to do every. single. day.  I do everything from the regular routine stuff:  cooking, cleaning, errands, caring for my honey, etc.  To accomplishing goals and dreams: planning, budgeting, learning new skills, reading everything self improvement, trying new things, etc. And yes, some days I do nothing but lounge and be lazy. (Truthfully, taxing on my emotional & mental well-being:not my favorite way to spend a day)

The good, the bad, the ugly, I LOVE being a housewife.

 I realize many may scoff and sneer at the notion that I might actually find fulfillment in something so simple but alas here it is:

I am a Housewife & I am Enough.

When I need to be reminded of my worth I remember this simple quote from a great talk: Look Up

Home of a Homebody

This quote by Daniel Pinkwater is my homebody manifesto.

My home is an extension of who I am and what I believe & love.

We are currently living in a 3 bedroom 2 bath condominium.  

It isn't perfect, there's some things I'd like to add and change but I do love it.  

 The majority of my home decor comes from thrift stores & Ross or TJ Maxx. 

I bought most of my decor for my wedding (in 2012) with the intent to use it in my home.

Here's a peek into my office.

I originally used this layout in our first apartment but liked it so much

 I used it again for this apartment.  

When my dad saw the original creation from our first apartment, he asked, "where's the bed pan?"

Our living room, is quite small and a bit awkward in shape and placement of doors, 

but I think we finally found a layout we could live with.  

I found these shutters at Deseret Industries for $10!  My husband and I painted & distressed them.

My couches are my favorite! The fabric is fantastic and the style is chic AND comfortable!

Ivan made these "industrial" shelves for me.  We still need to stain them.

I found this beauty at Pier One Import.  It was marked 75% off because it's missing legs.  Anyone think the mirror piece is ruined with missing legs?  I didn't think so! 

And one from Christmas cause I loved my tree.

The kitchen is also small.  It's my least favorite space.

The 2nd bathroom is also the laundry room.

Next up, my FAVORITE room in the house-my bedroom!
 It's peaceful and bright and has gorgeous pattern combinations, textures, and furniture.
Hope you like it!

The side tables are from my sister Laura who was going to donate them to Deseret Industries. I originally wanted to paint and distress them but never got around to doing it. 

 I'm SO GLAD I didn't! 

They fit perfectly with my bedroom color scheme and design just as they are.

All but the script pillow are from TJ Maxx.  The script one is from Ross.  

Eventually, I would like to buy some white Euro sized pillows.  I think adding them will make my bed look more proportionate.

This old window pane was something I made up for my wedding reception.  

It is super HEAVY so it just sits next to my bed.

This next piece of furniture is from my sister Ana. 

 I ABSOLUTELY ADORE it.  

She lives in New Mexico and finds THE BEST pieces of furniture at the local thrift shops.  

I believe she and her husband painted and added the decals.  It was in their daughters bedroom.

If you look close, you can see some pencil artwork, courtesy of my nieces and their friends!

I plan to sand it down and repaint it but it does make it even MORE sentimental.  

The top drawers are filled with some of my jewelry. Pretty obvious which one is Ivan's drawer.

My closet...decent size but in need of a little TLC.
Some nice boxes to organize/ HIDE things for a start.

I carried a similar color palette into my bathroom.

In addition to being a homebody, I am a housewife.  So having a home I enjoy is really important to me.  I strive to make it a home where the Spirit of God can dwell, a place that my husband looks forward to coming home to, a place that friends and family are always welcome.